Oh, Hello.

Greetings once again, electronic acquaintances. It has been a while, but luckily, I have just been given loads of free time. I am...ecstatic.

Anyway, lots of things going on in the world these days. Most importantly, as I am sure all you financial whackos are aware, the Yankees have completely shit the bed and the Mets are not that far behind. What the fuck is going on in the world?

First lets deal with the Mets because they are less complicated. They're just not that good. They have 3 more wins than the Yanks and are still in the hunt for not only the wild card but their own division. Jesus.

OK, the Yankees. They are also not that good. The offense has been atrocious. Pete Abraham, a solid Yankee beat writer and friend to blogs and sabre's, had a pretty interesting take:

Jorge Posada, Jose Molina and Wil Nieves were 202 of 633 (.319) in 2007 with 21 homers, 106 runs and 107 RBI.

Posada, Molina, Pudge Rodriguez and Chad Moeller are 137 of 590 (.232) in 2008 with eight homers, 68 runs scored and 48 RBI.

Toss in the shockingly bad season of Robinson Cano and it pretty much explains it.

Cano in 2007: .306, 19 homers, 93 runs scored, 97 RBI.

Cano in 2008: .258, 13 homers, 60 runs scored, 61 RBI.

Two positions produced 71 fewer runs and 95 fewer RBI than the previous season

Now to be fair, a lot of guys on the team had career years last year. Arod, Jorge and Cano were probably the most notable. Fans could not reasonably expect to get numbers like last year again. However, fans could also not expect Jorge to miss essentially the entire season and for Cano to play like I did in 6th grade. Melky's regression to the mean also hurt. In sum: they were due to score less runs than last year, but not like this. (Also, they have gotten way more out of Jason Giambi than anyone thought they would. So, there must be some more significant factor for the Yankee demise.)

There is, however, a more significant factor for the Yankee demise, as far as I am concerned, and it has nothing to do with the Yankees.

This fucking bespectacled asshole's team. OK, first things first, what's with the fucking glasses, Joe? Is this what mid-life crises are these days? Guys don't get ferraris, they get these fucking black-rimmed glasses? Fuck you, dude.

On to more serious matters. The Tampa Bay [Devil] Rays rapid ascent has absolutely fucked my entire universe. Baseball fans with a pulse knew that the Rays were not as bad as advertised, but this...this was out of left field. They have had a relatively solid offensive team for several years now. They just never had pitching. Then, Kazmir stays healthy. They dupe Minnesota into taking Delmon Young in return for Garza (how often does that happen?) And then they shore up the bullpen. Baseball fans blink and...what the fuck!? Tampa is in first?

If we were not in the bizarro universe this year, people would probably still be asking "what is the fucking deal with the yanks?" However, they would be 9 games behind boston in the division and 2 games out of the wildcard behind the Twins. But, now that people are no longer asking "are the Rays ever going to win a game?" the rest of the League is feeling the pinch.

At least I have the jets.